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Giving Fewer F*cks Leads to More Success
Vicente Évora
October 06, 2024
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In today’s email (994 Words | 4 Min 4 Sec read):
Today’s Read
Overview
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson flips the traditional self-help script. Instead of pushing relentless positivity and success, Manson argues that caring less about things that don’t matter leads to a better, more fulfilling life. Get the book here.
Why We Give Too Many F*cks
We often spend time and energy worrying about things that don’t really matter—whether it’s someone’s opinion of us or chasing after constant happiness. Manson calls this "The Feedback Loop from Hell." He explains:
The more you try to be happy, the more you notice you aren’t.
For example, let’s say you’re constantly worrying about not being successful enough. This worry only makes you feel worse because you focus on your lack of success.
Manson argues that happiness comes from accepting that life is full of challenges, not from trying to avoid them.
Choose What to Care About
Here’s the core idea: you have a limited number of f*cks to give in life. So, choose wisely.
Think of it like managing your resources—emotional energy, time, and attention. If you spend these on trivial things, you’ll have none left for what truly matters.
Manson writes, "You can’t be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being a joke and an embarrassment to others."
Ask yourself:
What really deserves my energy?
Am I caring about things that won’t matter in a few years?
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The Importance of Problems
Manson flips the happiness idea: life is not about eliminating problems; it’s about picking the right problems to solve.
He gives the example of wanting to be a rock star. Everyone loves the idea of fame and fortune, but few are willing to endure the long hours, rejection, and practice that come with it.
Manson’s point? If you’re not willing to struggle for something, it’s probably not worth pursuing.
To make it personal:
What problems are you willing to face?
Success comes when you choose the challenges you care about most.
Focus on the 20% of efforts that produce 80% of the results.
Good vs. Bad Values
Not all values are good. Many people chase "bad" values—fame, wealth, or external approval. These are superficial and out of your control.
Manson says, "When you prioritize better values, your life gets better." He suggests choosing values like honesty, responsibility, and curiosity—things that are internal and within your control.
Example: Let’s say you value honesty. Even if things go wrong, being true to yourself will bring you peace. But if you value external approval, every failure will feel like the end of the world.
Embracing Rejection
Rejection is something most people fear. But Manson argues that learning to say "no" is essential to living a meaningful life. By saying yes to everything, we dilute our focus and our sense of identity.
Manson gives a personal example from his dating life. When he cared too much about impressing women, he ended up with shallow, unfulfilling relationships. When he stopped trying to please everyone and embraced rejection, he found deeper connections.
So, practice saying no. Manson explains it’s not about being rude but about reinforcing your boundaries.
What are you willing to reject?
Who or what deserves your energy?
The Power of Mortality
Death plays a major role in Manson’s philosophy. He argues that recognizing your own mortality helps you focus on what really matters. When you realize your time is limited, you stop wasting it on trivial worries.
Manson shares the story of a man who survived a near-death experience. Afterward, the man completely rethought his priorities and lived more intentionally.
Manson’s advice? Remembering you will die someday can help you stop caring about things that don’t matter.
Ask yourself:
If I had limited time left, what would I spend my energy on?
Am I focusing on things that will actually matter in the long run?
Practical Steps
To apply this philosophy in your life:
Stop caring about things outside your control. Whether it’s other people’s opinions or trying to avoid failure, focus on what you can control.
Embrace failure and discomfort. Growth comes from facing challenges head-on, not avoiding them.
Choose your values carefully. Make sure you’re investing in values that bring real meaning to your life, not superficial ones.
Putting It All Together
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* teaches us that we’re often too focused on the wrong things. By choosing what we care about and letting go of the rest, we can lead a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Manson’s message? Care less, but care better.
Happy reading and remember to TAKE ACTION! There’s more to learn in the next one! Same day, same time! See ya.
My Favorite Quotes
"Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.
Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it. To try to avoid pain is to give too many fucks about pain. In contrast, if you’re able to not give a fuck about the pain, you become unstoppable."
"Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for."
"You and everyone you know are going to be dead soon. And in the short amount of time between here and there, you have a limited amount of fucks to give. Very few, in fact. And if you go around giving a fuck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice—well, then you’re going to get fucked."
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Who am I?
I'm Vicente from Portugal, a master's student in architecture with a passion for entrepreneurship. I share my journey, lessons, and monthly reports from my newsletter business on 𝕏. Follow me for valuable insights! Join me for insights and behind-the-scenes reports, and let’s chat there!
