Negotiate like an FBI Agent (Literally)

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What it’s about

Never Split the Difference is a negotiation guide written by former FBI negotiator Chris Voss. It emphasizes empathetic listening, tactical empathy, and understanding the emotional drivers behind negotiations. Voss shares real-life negotiation experiences to illustrate his techniques, which include techniques like mirroring, labeling emotions, and using calibrated questions to influence conversations. The book offers practical strategies applicable in various negotiation scenarios, from business deals to personal interactions, aiming to help readers become more effective negotiators. Get the book here.

TAKEAWAYS

1. Emotional Intelligence: Understanding and addressing emotions is crucial in negotiations. Acknowledging and validating emotions can build rapport and trust.

2. Tactical Empathy: Employing empathy strategically can help in understanding the other party's perspective, motivations, and emotions, leading to more successful negotiations.

3. Active Listening: Actively listening and paraphrasing what the other party says demonstrates understanding and fosters a cooperative atmosphere.

4. Mirroring: Mirroring involves repeating the last few words of what someone has said. It encourages the other party to continue talking and provides valuable information.

5. Labeling: Labeling emotions or situations helps in defusing tense situations and gaining insight into the other party's concerns.

6. Calibrated Questions: Asking open-ended questions that start with "how" or "what" encourages the other party to share more information, providing valuable insights and building rapport.

7. Assertiveness: Being assertive without being aggressive is key. It involves confidently stating your position while still being open to the other party's perspective.

8. Creating a Feeling of Control: Giving the other party a feeling of control can lead to better outcomes. This can be achieved by offering options or letting them feel like they're making decisions.

9. Negotiation as a Collaborative Process: Viewing negotiation as a problem-solving process where both parties work together towards a mutually beneficial outcome can lead to better results than viewing it as a zero-sum game.

10. Preparation: Thoroughly preparing for negotiations by researching the other party, defining goals and fallback positions, and anticipating potential objections and counteroffers increases your chances of success.

11. Using Silence: Silence can be a powerful tool in negotiations. Allowing moments of silence after making an offer or asking a question can prompt the other party to reveal more information or make concessions.

12. Embracing "No": Instead of fearing or avoiding it, embracing "no" as a starting point for further negotiation can lead to more creative solutions and better outcomes.