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What Makes People Trust YOU?
Vicente Évora
April 01, 2025
In partnership with
In today’s email (944 Words | 4 Min 52 Sec read):
Today’s Read
Overview
In business, people don’t just buy expertise. They buy trust.
That’s the core message of The Trusted Advisor by David Maister, Charles H. Green, and Robert M. Galford.
It’s not enough to be good at what you do. If clients don’t trust you, they won’t listen.
This book breaks down how to become a trusted advisor—someone whose advice isn’t just heard, but valued. Get the book here.
The Trust Equation: Why People Trust You (or Don’t)
Maister introduces a formula:
Breaking It Down:
Credibility – Do you sound like you know what you're talking about?
Reliability – Can people count on you? Do you do what you say?
Intimacy – Can clients be open with you? Do they feel safe?
Self-Orientation (the denominator) – Are you focused on them or yourself? (The lower this is, the better.)
High self-orientation kills trust. If people sense you’re in it for yourself—pushing an agenda, selling something, seeking approval—they won’t trust you.
Example: A financial advisor who constantly talks about how great their investment strategy is? Not trustworthy. One who asks, "What are you most worried about financially?" and listens? That’s trust-building.
The 5 Levels of Advisor-Client Relationships
Trust isn’t built overnight. You move through five stages:
Apprentice – Clients hire you for technical skills. You execute tasks.
Expert – You’re recognized for specialized knowledge. Clients respect you, but only for a narrow focus.
Advisor – You start influencing broader decisions. Your input matters beyond just your specialty.
Trusted Advisor – Clients don’t just ask for answers; they ask for guidance. Your relationship is deep.
Trusted Partner – You’re involved in decisions before they even happen. Clients need you in the room.
The best advisors move from selling services to guiding decisions.
Example: A marketing consultant hired to write ads (Expert) eventually starts advising on brand strategy (Advisor). One day, the CEO won’t launch a product without their input (Trusted Advisor).
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How to Build Deep Trust
Listen More, Solve Less
Most advisors jump to solutions too quickly.
Wrong approach: "Here’s what you should do."
Better approach: "Tell me more about what's worrying you."
People trust those who understand them first—not those who just give fast answers.
Example: A lawyer meets a stressed client. Instead of diving into legal advice, they ask, "How are you holding up?" That small moment changes the dynamic.
Earn the Right to Give Advice
Clients don’t trust advice from someone who doesn’t understand their situation.
Instead of: “I know what works.”
Try: “Can I ask a few more questions to fully understand?”
People don’t reject advice because it’s bad. They reject it because they don’t feel heard.
Challenge, But Gently
Trusted advisors don’t just agree with clients. They challenge them—but in a way that’s helpful, not confrontational.
Bad: “That’s a terrible idea.”
Better: “I see why you’re thinking that. But have you considered this risk?”
A business coach sees a client making a rushed hiring decision. Instead of saying, "That’s a mistake," they ask, "What would happen if you waited another month?"
Lower Your Self-Orientation
If a client senses that you need something from them—whether it’s money, approval, or a sale—trust evaporates.
Don’t rush decisions.
Be willing to say, "I don’t know."
Focus on their long-term success, not just what benefits you.
A consultant who says, “Honestly, I don’t think you need my services right now,” gains more trust than one who pushes for a sale.
Common Mistakes That Kill Trust
Overloading clients with technical jargon (feels impersonal).
Trying to impress rather than understand (feels egotistical).
Being too transactional (feels like a sale, not a relationship).
Avoiding hard conversations (feels inauthentic).
Quick Fix: Replace "Let me tell you" with "Help me understand."
Putting It All Together
This book isn’t about selling yourself. It’s about becoming the kind of person people trust.
If you want to move from just giving answers to being a true advisor, focus on:
Listening before advising.
Making clients feel safe.
Putting their needs ahead of your own.
Giving advice that challenges but supports.
The best advisors aren’t the smartest ones in the room. They’re the ones clients feel they can’t afford to lose.
Happy reading and remember to TAKE ACTION! There’s more to learn in the next one! Same day, same time! See ya.
My Favorite Quotes
"Clients recognize excessive self-orientation through such things as: 1. A tendency to relate their stories to ourselves 2. A need to too quickly finish their sentences for them 3. A need to fill empty spaces in conversations 4. A need to appear clever, bright, witty, etc. 5. An inability to provide a direct answer to a direct question 6. An unwillingness to say we don’t know 7. Name-dropping of other clients 8. A recitation of qualifications 9. A tendency to give answers too quickly 10. A tendency to want to have the last word 11. Closed-ended questions early on 12. Putting forth hypotheses or problem statements before fully hearing the client’s hypotheses or problem statements 13. Passive listening; a lack of visual and verbal cues that indicate the client is being heard 14. Watching the client as if he/she were a television set (merely a source of data)"
"Reliability in this largely rational sense is the repeated experience of links between promises and action."
"Sincerity, the way we usually mean it, has to do with intentions; we assume it comes from within. But our clients have no way to observe sincerity except through external behaviors. From certain behaviors (attention paid, interest shown, advance work done, empathetic listening), we infer the internal state we call sincerity."
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Who am I?
I'm Vicente from Portugal, a master's student in architecture with a passion for entrepreneurship. I share my journey, lessons, and monthly reports from my newsletter business on 𝕏. Follow me for valuable insights! Join me for insights and behind-the-scenes reports, and let’s chat there!
